It's November 10th, 11:30 AM, and the world has already decided to fuck me.
Nearly everyone around me has completely lost their shit. I'm flanked on all sides by anger, frustration, stress, and bullshit. Not only that, but I'm the whipping boy of the day. Passive aggressive comments are being thrown my way as often as opportunity allows. Not only is this negativity hanging around the office, it's actively attacking me at every turn.
Choosing to be happy is one thing, but making a choice counter to your environment is another. It's like choosing to not move when someone throws you into water. You'll drown.
So, I chose to swim.
If I'm going to choose to be happy, I can only make that choice when the circumstances support it. So, I got the fuck out of there. I didn't return to my desk for a good long time. At one point, I went into a closet by myself, raised my arms in the air, breathed out and said my mantra: "I choose to be happy today. Fuck all that sad nonsense. I'm happy today."
I'm not going to lie: The day didn't get a whole lot better. People were still in a shitty mood. It was still a very busy, stressful day.
The one thing that did change was me. I made the choice to not be a part of all the aggressive negativity. Something else happened though: Since I didn't make the choice to be angry or resentful towards my coworkers, those feelings were replaced by empathy.
Choosing to not be a part of their pain allowed me to view it through a different lens. I saw people that were working hard and feeling unappreciated. I saw people that had reached their limit, and they reacted accordingly. I saw people that wanted to lash out against someone, and I was the easiest target. It wasn't personal. I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
It astounds me how basic these lessons are. My mother, an amazing special education teacher, always told her students that everything they did was a choice. They can choose to be one way or another, but ultimately how they behave and view the world is completely in their control. If only I had listened more than her students.
I've chosen to be happy. So far, I've learned three lessons from choosing happiness:
1. When you choose to be happy, you alter your surroundings. People and places become brighter simply because you've chosen to make them so.
2. Choosing to be happy eliminates anger and promotes love. You no longer resent others. You choose to love them. This love breeds empathy, kindness, and understanding, which makes choosing happiness much easier.
3. Sometimes, choosing happiness means walking the fuck away. Because fuck that sad nonsense.
Wednesday, November 11, 2015
Monday, November 9, 2015
Blog Zombie / A Week of Happiness
(DISCLAIMER: While some of this is a bit whiny, I implore you to read through if you're struggling in life. Hopefully you'll find some solace in my ramblings)
YOU THOUGHT I WAS DONE!?!?!? YOU WERE WRONG!!!
You weren't that wrong though. . . .Many of my blog posts were about my awful commutes to 34th street. Since I changed jobs, and now I work in DUMBO, my commute is pretty pleasant. I get to sleep sometimes, and rarely encounter overcrowded trains. Tis a blessing. Tis.
There was still stress in my life, but it was far more sinister and hidden. I was losing my sense of self.
While this new job is great in terms of practicality (money, consistent schedule, free alcohol after work, etc.), it certainly is a killer of dreams. I haven't even thought about anything creative in months. This has taken a toll on my happiness.
This brings me to my personal view on happiness: I've always seen happiness as a natural occurrence. Like a joyful mathematical equation.
You eat cake + You eat ice cream = You are happy
You win a game + Your foe cries like a baby when you win = You are happy
You find true love + They love you back = You are happy
I also believe sadness to be exactly the same.
You lose a loved one = You are sad
You fail to live up to your potential = You are sad
You drop your phone in the toilet = You fly into a furious rage and then become sad
While my views on sadness and happiness are very practical and reasonable, they have been challenged in the recent months. I seem to be sad a lot. All the time. I have no desire to do anything creative or proactive in my life. I just have enough energy to go to work and come home. My mathematical equation of happiness sucks. . . . .if it is a mathematical equation.
If happiness and sadness are natural, mathematical occurrences, then what does that mean when you are constantly happy or constantly sad? Is it the case that some people are just far more fortunate or misfortunate than others, therefore more naturally happy or sad than others? While it is true that people are more fortunate than others, there are incredibly sad rich people, and very happy poor people. Being fortunate certainly has it's advantages, but it doesn't necessarily equate happiness.
So then what the fuck is my problem? When you look at my life, things are pretty good: Good job. GREAT wife. Good friends. What do I have to be sad about? I'll answer that in a second.
Lets change directions: Think about that one person you know who is happy all the time. You all have that one person. That person who walks around with a smile on their face, never complains, laughs a lot, and is just plain happy. Now, think about their life. They aren't especially fortunate, are they? They live a normal life, filled with normal things, yet they always have a shit eating grin like they just won the fucking lottery.
There is only one answer: They CHOOSE to be happy.
For those people, happiness is not a mathematical equation. Things didn't add up to equal constant happiness. How could they? We all know life doesn't work like that. These people choose to remain happy, despite what bullshit mathematical sadness comes their way.
Now, back to my question: What do I have to be sad about? The answer: Nothing. I have no reason to be sad. I could find a reason to be sad. In fact, I've found several over the past months. I made the choice to find sadness, and it hasn't paid off at all.
So, I decided to give this whole "choosing happiness" thing a try. This week, I am going to wake and say out loud to myself "I choose to be happy today. Fuck all that sad nonsense. I'm happy today."
How did my first day go? I'll tell you:
The morning was frustrating. I'm getting over a cold, so my face was congested as fuck. All my coworkers didn't want to be at work today. My boss was in a foul mood all day. I was hot as the AC couldn't figure itself out. I was told about the week to come, which is going to be very tough.
I chose to be happy, and none of that shit mattered.
I managed to make my grumpy boss smile more than once. I made my coworkers laugh multiple times. I worked harder today because I was in a better mood. The day went by faster. I didn't care about the week to come, because I was far more present in my happiness.
Choosing happiness worked!!!
I'm going to continue to say "I choose to be happy today. Fuck all that sad nonsense. I'm happy today" for the rest of this week. If it continues to work, I may do it for the rest of my life. I'll update y'all tomorrow.
I'm sorry there weren't any pictures. Here's one:
YOU THOUGHT I WAS DONE!?!?!? YOU WERE WRONG!!!
You weren't that wrong though. . . .Many of my blog posts were about my awful commutes to 34th street. Since I changed jobs, and now I work in DUMBO, my commute is pretty pleasant. I get to sleep sometimes, and rarely encounter overcrowded trains. Tis a blessing. Tis.
There was still stress in my life, but it was far more sinister and hidden. I was losing my sense of self.
While this new job is great in terms of practicality (money, consistent schedule, free alcohol after work, etc.), it certainly is a killer of dreams. I haven't even thought about anything creative in months. This has taken a toll on my happiness.
This brings me to my personal view on happiness: I've always seen happiness as a natural occurrence. Like a joyful mathematical equation.
You eat cake + You eat ice cream = You are happy
You win a game + Your foe cries like a baby when you win = You are happy
You find true love + They love you back = You are happy
I also believe sadness to be exactly the same.
You lose a loved one = You are sad
You fail to live up to your potential = You are sad
You drop your phone in the toilet = You fly into a furious rage and then become sad
While my views on sadness and happiness are very practical and reasonable, they have been challenged in the recent months. I seem to be sad a lot. All the time. I have no desire to do anything creative or proactive in my life. I just have enough energy to go to work and come home. My mathematical equation of happiness sucks. . . . .if it is a mathematical equation.
If happiness and sadness are natural, mathematical occurrences, then what does that mean when you are constantly happy or constantly sad? Is it the case that some people are just far more fortunate or misfortunate than others, therefore more naturally happy or sad than others? While it is true that people are more fortunate than others, there are incredibly sad rich people, and very happy poor people. Being fortunate certainly has it's advantages, but it doesn't necessarily equate happiness.
So then what the fuck is my problem? When you look at my life, things are pretty good: Good job. GREAT wife. Good friends. What do I have to be sad about? I'll answer that in a second.
Lets change directions: Think about that one person you know who is happy all the time. You all have that one person. That person who walks around with a smile on their face, never complains, laughs a lot, and is just plain happy. Now, think about their life. They aren't especially fortunate, are they? They live a normal life, filled with normal things, yet they always have a shit eating grin like they just won the fucking lottery.
There is only one answer: They CHOOSE to be happy.
For those people, happiness is not a mathematical equation. Things didn't add up to equal constant happiness. How could they? We all know life doesn't work like that. These people choose to remain happy, despite what bullshit mathematical sadness comes their way.
Now, back to my question: What do I have to be sad about? The answer: Nothing. I have no reason to be sad. I could find a reason to be sad. In fact, I've found several over the past months. I made the choice to find sadness, and it hasn't paid off at all.
So, I decided to give this whole "choosing happiness" thing a try. This week, I am going to wake and say out loud to myself "I choose to be happy today. Fuck all that sad nonsense. I'm happy today."
How did my first day go? I'll tell you:
The morning was frustrating. I'm getting over a cold, so my face was congested as fuck. All my coworkers didn't want to be at work today. My boss was in a foul mood all day. I was hot as the AC couldn't figure itself out. I was told about the week to come, which is going to be very tough.
I chose to be happy, and none of that shit mattered.
I managed to make my grumpy boss smile more than once. I made my coworkers laugh multiple times. I worked harder today because I was in a better mood. The day went by faster. I didn't care about the week to come, because I was far more present in my happiness.
Choosing happiness worked!!!
I'm going to continue to say "I choose to be happy today. Fuck all that sad nonsense. I'm happy today" for the rest of this week. If it continues to work, I may do it for the rest of my life. I'll update y'all tomorrow.
I'm sorry there weren't any pictures. Here's one:
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